Saturday, April 19, 2008

What happened to a nice quiet New Years? ~ Phone Home ~

Well ! The Holiday season... was going to be a nice quiet time around here, whew... relax from the hectic year, of travel and high school drama... No such luck. More drama, work changes, family demands, and by that I mean they are demanding stuff!... Oh Anyway... I let go of all that and did my best... this little funny helped...

Hello and thank you for calling The Looney Bin.

Please select from the following options menu:

~ If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

~ If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

~ If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

~ If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

~If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

~ If you are schizo! phrenic , listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
~If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

~ If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

~ If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

~ If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

~If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

~ If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

~ If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

~~ This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
~~~~~~Well, my job is done...your turn.

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